Fixed, Sorta

Well, we can use the toilet and tub again. And J. didn't have to tear up the bathroom floor like he first thought he would. Yeah! I still think there is more work to be done eventually but at least we can use the bathroom again. The kitchen sink is still stopped up, but I won't be complaining about that anymore. It seems so little compared to having a stopped up toilet, tub, AND kitchen sink.

Not a Good Thing

So, it can't be a good thing when I flush the toilet and some nasty crap comes up out of the tub drain. And of course, my plumber husband isn't home. Somehow I get the feeling this isn't going to be an easy or a cheap fix.

Bifocals Suck

At least they are cute.....



These things give me a headache and make me horribly nauseous! I probably won't be wearing them too often. The eye doc said to give it a few days and if I couldn't adjust to them to let them know. The reading part is actually a sticker like thing. I am hoping they can peel that off so I can just use them for distance. I can always get some reading glasses at the pharmacy.

Feeling Out of Sorts

Feeling very out of sorts this evening. As I am listening to J. describe his amazing camp experience, I am thinking more and more that I am losing who I am to who I have become... a mother. I used to be a camp counselor and program director. It was fun. Very fun. I used to be a girl scout leader. I used to participate. I used to be fun, adventurous, and outgoing. Now I am the one who stays home with the kids so everyone else can go have an adventure. The sad thing is, it has become who I am. I am the mom, the responsible one, the one who does what needs done. And I am so used to it, that I had to look at old photos to remember who I used to be. I have accepted being nothing more than a bench warmer, someone who watches from a distance but never gets to participate. Someone who hears all about the adventure second hand. Iwant an adventure too. I love my kids, but sometimes I am so tired of being the one left behind.


I am also feeling like I don't actually fit in anywhere. I have friends from church but lately I have felt like I just don't fit in with them. I am different. And I think they sense that. It seems that I don't get invited places anymore. I have my sisters but they aren't very much like me either. I guess I am feeling left out and lonely. I know this is totally irrational and untrue, but that is how I am feeling. I don't have any close friends. Maybe there is something wrong with me. I really don't know how to be a good friend and I have trouble in social situations. I am more like Carmen than she realizes. Who knows, maybe I also have Asperger's Syndrome. That would explain alot.

Basically you can say I am just feeling sorry for myself today.

Happy Birthday Gabe!

Happy 9th Birthday, Gabe! You are such a gift to our family. That is why your middle name is Makiwa. It means gift. I have loved watching grow and become your own person. You have a very unique and creative personality. You are fun to be with and you make me smile. I love you so much!

Prayers Needed

For anyone who reads this, I am asking for prayer for me against fear of our financial situation. As our bank account drains I am struggling with more and more fear. This tells me that I haven't really been trusting God but rather my bank account this whole time. I am trying to turn this all over to Jehoveh-Jireh, God Who Provides, but it is a daily (sometimes hourly) struggle. Thanks for your prayers.

Wanted: Skinny Plumber

This is how I have been washing dishes (and doing anything with the sink) for the last several weeks. The kitchen sink will not drain at all. If water does get in it, I have to bail it out then sop it up with a towel. Remember folks, I am married to a plumber! But I can't blame him for this, though. We saved the money to rent a professional snake but it wasn't long enough to reach the clog, which is located in the one part of the pipe we didn't replace last year. J. can't fit in the crawl space to fix it, so we have to save up and hire a short, skinny plumber. Luckily we do know one. He is the one that replaced the rest of the pipe last year. Now we just have to save up enough money to hire him (not an easy thing to do with an unemployed husband). Logan could probably fix it. He is a pretty good plumber in training. But we are concerned about him being in the crawl space laying on his back and reaching up to use the saws all. If he drops it and gets hurt, we can't get to him to get him out of the crawl space. So for now, I do dishes in buckets. It is a pain in the butt and it is disgusting. But it is far better than what they did a hundred or so years ago. I am blessed.

Great Book

I found this on the library shelf a few years ago. I had never heard of the author but I was running out of Christian fiction to read so I thought I would give it a try. WOW! It is such a great book! I highly recommend it. My daughter, Carmen, is reading it right now and she can't put it down. Check it out!

http://www.lisamckaywriting.com/home/books.html

A Disappointing Day

So, yesterday was just kind of a disappointing day.
First, J. rented a snake to fix our clogged kitchen sink. It hasn't drained at all for several weeks so we have to keep buckets in the sink to catch the water and then dump them when they are full. It is challenging to do dishes and run the dishwasher. So, he pays fifty bucks to rent this professional quality snake..... and it isn't long enough to reach the clog. So disappointment number one was realizing that we have to keep using buckets and we have to hire a short skinny plumber to replace the clogged pipe since J. can't fit in the crawl space.
Disappointment number two. I go to the eye doctor and find out that I need glasses. Bifocals to be exact. And insurance doesn't cover the 'no line' bifocals. Great.
Disappointment number three. We might have to cancel our vacation. Technically we needed to make a decision by midnight last night but I think we still have time to get a refund today. The cabin is paid in full. We have money and gift cards set aside for travel expenses. But J. is not getting unemployment like we expected and our bank account is dwindling quickly. Plus the van is acting up a little. We are praying for an answer but the practical thing to do is to cancel vacation or at least take a smaller one close by. But gosh, I really want to go.
In all of this, a good friend reminded me that I need to count my blessings. She is right. In all of the disappointments there is a blessing. I can still use my dishwasher. I have running water, hot and cold. Insurance is paying for my eyeglasses. I will be able to see clearly. We have so much. And I am blessed with the mo st awesome husband and children ever. So many blessings.

Still No Answers

Well, I went to the doc for these stomach cramps I have randomly been getting. The doc was as stumped as me. He basically said it could be a banana allergy or it could be my gallbaldder or it could be something else. Great. I already knew that. In the mean time I guess I will just not eat any bananas, just in case. He did say that he had heard of bananas triggering pancreatitis and if it happens again, call the office and I can have a blood test done that same day (unless, of course, it happens on an evening or weekend, which seems to be when it happens most often.) He did test me for Celiac Disease because of my struggles with anemia as a child and an adult. I had mentioned that my aunt had it so he wanted to test me now instead of waiting until September like he had first suggested. I didn't bother to tell him that it was an aunt by marriage not by blood. As much as I want to know the reason for the anemia, I really hope I don't have Celiac. I just don't know if I can change my diet that much. Doc also looked at the bump on my leg and said he has no idea what it is, but he did reassure me that it doesn't look like anything scary. That's a relief, I guess. On the plus side, I did get a few hours to myself without children on my heels.

Awards

Each week at PVM camp the children get an award based on a Biblical character trait they showed through the week. Logan's award was "VIRTUE". Carmen's award was "HOPE". Gabe's award was for "CONTENTMENT". I think Gabe left his contentment at camp.

Happy Momma

I am one happy momma! I get to pick my kids up from summer camp today! How in the world do parents deal with their kids being gone at boarding school or summer long camps? I would go crazy from missing them. My children are such a huge part of my life! Carmen has become such a beautiful young woman with strong moral standards. I am so proud of her. She has grown in so many ways. (I can't believe she is almost ready to get her temps, tomorrow if she wants). I was really worried about her being gone for two weeks, but she is so strong and ready for this. She hopes to work at camp as a counselor in just a few short years. I know she will love it! I didn't worry about Logan too much. He has always done well at camp and it is like a second home to him. He makes friends everywhere we go. He got the privilege of enjoying scuba camp this year. I look forward to him nagging me for scuba certification now. Gabe totally surprised me that he wanted to go to camp in the first place. New places typically make him nervous. But even though he was a little scared when we dropped him off, I know he is having a blast. And I have prayed that God use this experience to build strength and character. I can't wait to hear about all of their adventures!!

Paper Boy for a Day

With Logan gone to summer camp this week, I got the fun job of taking over his paper route. With the help of my sister, I played the role of paper boy for a day and I realized just how grateful I am for Logan's job. Logan has always been a hard worker and has been wanting a job for several years, so when this paper route became available a year ago, he jumped at the chance to earn some money. Not only can he finance his many sports and activities because of this job (a huge plus because he has some expensive hobbies), but it also gives me the opportunity to teach him about financial responsibility, budgeting, saving, and giving.
I do not believe in giving an allowance for chores. I believe that work should be done around the house simply because it needs done and everyone should participate and contribute. And we could never afford to give the kids a spending allowance, which is a good way to teach children about money. Therefore, this job is a big blessing. Since the beginning of this job, Logan has generously given and faithfully saved (saving for a car and for his future). However, the budgeting and impulse buying really needed some work. That paycheck burned a hole in his pocket every month. He has learned a few of his lessons the hard way, by either doing without something he wants or having to wait because he ran out of money, or by wasting money on something he didn't truly need or want. However, he has worked on this and has improved greatly. Together, we established a budget using the envelope system, along with a log to keep track of all of his money. I love seeing my children "get it" at such a young age. Carmen also has developed her own envelop system of managing money. She started sponsoring a child through World Vision a few years ago (without having a job) and because of that commitment, has had to be very careful about her money. I still have much to teach Gabe, who still thinks that money in his wallet automatically means a trip to the toy store. But it is a process.
When I was just out of college I met a mother of six who had the most respectful and responsible children I had ever met. She told me that she was raising them to be capable because she might not always be there. She wanted them to be able to succeed without her. I have also tried to raise my children the same way, with the mindset of teaching them to become capable and responsible adults. They have learned at an early age how to do their own laundry, take care of a baby, cook and clean, take responsiblity for their own decisions, serve their family and community, be helpful, courteous and grateful. Money management is just another step in the process of raising them to become productive, capable, and responsible citizens, parents, and spouses. Not every lesson sinks in right away for every child. No matter how hard I tried to teach our oldest about money, he just didn't listen. Each of my children have their own struggles as I try to guide them into adulthood. Carmen really struggles with cleaning. Logan struggles with picking up after himself. Gabe struggles with being independent. We can only try to teach, we can't make them learn. And it is a process.

So as I played paper boy this week, I gained a greater appreciation for hard work and for Logan's job. And as annoying as it is to drive Logan around on this paper route each week (especially during a snow storm or during collection week), I will forever be thankful for this learning opportinuty that has positively impacted his life.

Some links about Kids and Money

http://www.christianity.com/11574509/

http://www.crown.org/Library/ViewArticle.aspx?ArticleId=342

http://www.crown.org/Library/ViewArticle.aspx?ArticleId=343

Summer Camp

The house has been so quiet this week while all three of the older kids at summer camp. Carmen has actually been gone for two weeks since she is doing the Leader In Training (LIT) program. Gosh, I miss them so much! I have been especially worried about Gabe all week. This is his first year at camp and I know that he often has anxiety issues in new situations. It has been so hard not knowing how he is doing emotionally. Funny, I have found that I trust God totally with their physical wellbeing, but I am very concerned about their emotional wellbeing. Something I definately need to work on/ask the Lord to help with. Anyway, I have been trying to keep up with them by catching glimpses of them on the camp website. The camp posts pictures each night of the days activities. I am not sure that this is such a good thing, though. First of all, Carmen is totally camera shy, so I only saw one pic of her the entire first week and she was in the back of a large group. Secondly, Gabe looked terrible in the first few pics I saw of him. This did NOT help me relax and "not worry". He looked really nervous in one and just plain bad in the next two. I am hoping that he looked bad just because he was so tired. I remember my days as a camp counselor and camp program director. The kids are so excited that they stay up late the first night. Then they crash the second night. Gabe did look much better in the next photo that I saw. And I got two letters from him today that said he was having fun. I am so excited to pick them up! I have enjoyed the quiet house to some extent but it just seems so empty and incomplete. It is almost like I have been waiting all week for something to happen. I can not wait for the house to be filled again with the joyful voices of all of my children. Realistically I know that it will not be all "joyful" noises that will be filling our house, and I can honestly say that I have not missed the bickering, arguing, and complaining, but I missed my kids tremendously. I cannot wait to see them tomorrow. I am so thankful for the opportunity for my children to attend this summercamp. It has truly changed their lives.





http://www.pvmcamp.com/





dropping the boys at camp

Bad Bananas

I have been having random SEVERE stomach cramps lately. They start suddenly, have me doubled over in pain for several hours, and also cause nausea, sometimes vomitting, sometimes diarrhea, sweating, red skin, restlessness, and feeling like I have to poo. Everyone keeps telling me to have my gall bladder checked. I keep telling myself that if it happens "one more time" I will go to the emergency room (but never do). These episodes are becoming more frequent, so I started keeping track of my foods. I realized that the last three times it happened, I had just eaten a banana. After some research, I discovered that it is possible that I have a banana allergy or sensitivity. So, for now I will be avoiding bananas (except for the other day when I forgot while eating fruit salad). And I have a doc appt scheduled for next week. Hopefully I will get some answers.