"Good" Christian

What does a "good" Christian look like? I see some people in church who seem so spiritual and prophetic; they are always quoting scripture and speaking in spiritual terms, and I wish that I was more like them. But then other people see me and think that I am spiritual and prophetic. Some would even say that I am a good Christian because I avoid "evil" tv and books, I don't curse or drink, and I go to church almost every service. I don't consider myself a spiritual or a prophetic person. And I certainly don't feel like I am a good Christian. My prayer life stinks. I cannot pray for longer than 30 seconds without getting distracted. I hardly ever remember to go to God first in times of need. I never remember to thank Him. I am prideful and full of fear. I am undisciplined and lazy. My Bible collects dust most days. And I have caught myself lifting my hands during worship while thinking more about my grocery list than my loving Savior.

I started praying on prayer team because I was once on the "church staff" as bookstore manager. A friend who was heading the prayer team at the time strongly encouraged me to take the prayer training and start praying on prayer team (better called "a swift kick in the pants"). I am an introvert and have some social anxiety issues. To this day I still get nervous about even asking for prayer for myself. I am not good at making conversation with people much less an invisible God. Every time I am on prayer team I am nervous and afraid that I won't know what to say when someone comes up to receive prayer from me. If people really knew me, they probably wouldn't choose me to pray for them. Yet, God uses me. He has given me visions and words for many people. Sometimes I think it is just me trying to think of something to say, but when the words speak right to the person's heart, I know it can't be from me.

So, why does God choose to work through me? I am just a simple woman failing miserably at being a good Christian. I spent some time pondering this very question last night and I came to a few conclussions. First of all, there is no such thing as a "good" Christian. Only a good God. We all fall short in one way or another every day. Secondly, when he uses broken vessels like me, then people can really see Him.

I no longer want to be seen as "spiritual and prophetic". I do not want anyone to think of me as a "good Christian". Those are not titles that I can ever fulfill. Anything that makes me appear good, spiritual, or prophetic is simple God shining out of the cracks in this broken vessel. I had nothing to do with it. Just call me a cracked pot that Jesus chose to fill.

Happy Belated Birthday, Cameron!

Again, a little late... Cameron turned 20 a little over a week ago. I feel blessed to have had the privilege of watching him grow from a cute little toddler into a man. Happy Birthday, Cameron.

Happy Birthday to My Baby Girl (a little late)

Carmen turned 15 a few weeks ago. It has been such a joy to watch her grow into such a lovely young woman.

A New Year Prayer

A New Year Prayer

Holy Father,
God of our yesterdays, our today, and our tomorrows.
We praise You for Your unequaled greatness.
Thank You for the year behind us and for the year ahead.
Help us in Your new year, Father, to fret less and laugh more.
To teach our children to laugh by laughing with them.
To teach others to love by loving them.
Knowing, when Love came to the stable in Bethlehem, He came for us.
So that Love could be with us, and we could know You.
That we could share Love with others.
Help us, Father, to hear Your love song in every sunrise,
in the chriping of sparrows in our backyards,
in the stories of our old folks, and the fantasies of our children.
Help us to stop and listen to Your love songs,
so that we may know You better and better.
We rejoice in the world You loved into being.
Thank You for another new year and for new chances every day.
We pray for peace, for light, and for hope, that we might spread them to others.
Forgive us for falling short this past year.
We leave the irreparable past in your hands, and step out into the unknown new year knowing You will go with us.
We accept Your gift of a new year and we rejoice in what's ahead, depending on You to help us do exactly what You want..
I say it again, we rejoice!
In Jesus name,

Amen

http://halife.com/halife/new_year_prayer.html