Long Overdue

I haven't been on here in a long time and as much as life seems to be a mundane repetitive cycle day after day, there actually is some  news to report.   Let's start at the youngest and work our way up.  Little Declan will be turning seven tomorrow. I can't believe my baby is growing up so fast. My last baby. There will be no more little ones toddling around after him. This makes me sad. We are starting to realize how much we let him be the baby of the family and we are really working on some self sufficiency now. Afterall, he will be old enough for summer camp next summer.  Ahhhh!  Anyway, the other day he made himself two sandwiches because he was hungry.  That is such a big step for him and it made me realize how little we have encouraged him to do for himself.  My other kids were all  cooking grilled cheese sandwiches by his age.  He is doing well with homeschooling and I am starting to understand just how gifted he is, and this scares me.  How can I keep him challenged yet not end up with him hating school?  He reads about a fourth or fifth grade level. Maybe higher.  He easily picks up on other concepts as well.  His writing is the only thing at or below grade level. He really struggles with fine motor skills and his handwriting looks like that of a preschooler.  I am having a hard time finding a curriculum that doesn't bore him.  Most first grade curriculum are for beginning and emerging readers.  He is so far past that, but he does still need the basics of grammar and spelling.  I am so thankful to be able to homeschool him, though.  Public school would be so limiting for him.  The other day he told me, I don't need these books anymore. I already know about transportation and about emotions.  The books were little picture books called "A Dragon in a Wagon" and "The Grumpy Kangaroo"  Where does he get this vocabulary?  Gabe is in eighth grade and doing well.  He is busy preparing for a ministry competition through a local baptist church where he attends once a week for a youth Bible study.  It helps encourage students to step out of their comfort zone and serve using their God given gifts and talents. This is his first time competing and he is nervous and excited. He is taking a writing class at a local homeschool co-op and is doing very well.  He is also taking guitar and art classes at another co-op.  At home we are slowly but surely continuing our study of ancient cultures and have recently moved into his favorite time period, the Middle Ages.  I feel confident in his ability to homeschool in high school next year, despite his mild learning and development challenges.  Considering his IQ scores and his disabilities, he is really thriving and learning far more than the doctors thought he would.  What do they know, anyway?  He is doing much better with calming down during and after meltdowns as well.  He really is a delightful and trustworthy young man.  He consistently makes good choices especially compared to other young teenagers and he is just a joy to be around.  The other day we were walking into the library to get some new books for my young book lover and I turned around and saw Gabe walk over and held the door for a young woman with her arms full.  He was not asked for prompted. He just did it to be polite and helpful. That makes me smile.  

Logan is doing well.  His band is getting ready to release their first album. They have been busy recording, shooting videos, practicing, and preparing for upcoming shows.  I don't see him much. I miss him a lot.  He spends a lot of time at his bandmate's house doing band like stuff and teenager like stuff.  I am so thankful that he has good friends from a good Christian family.  And I am thankful for his home away from home. People are starting to recognize him in public as "Technicolor Monster". His hair definitely makes him stand out.  Right now his is sporting a 6 or more inch two toned purple mohawk. He really is a great young man with a good head on his shoulders.  He is changing the way people think about "Christians" and what they should look like.  I am really hoping he is able to complete his schoolwork so he can graduate this year. He will be 18 in a few months and he wants to go on tour next fall, so graduation is important. However, each time he spends the week doing band stuff he doesn't do regular school stuff, although I do consider his band as "school".  This is what he hopes to do as a career so it all counts as vocational training and business math, etc.  He spends his time home catching up on regular school work.   He recently lost a friend in a car accident. That was a challenge to him, yet he is still strong in faith, although he doesn't like most cliche "Christiany" things.  He makes me look at things from a new perspective.  He is going to make a great husband and father some day and he constantly tells me he can't wait to be a dad.  I am truly proud of how he honors and respects people.  Carmen just turned twenty. Holy cow, when did that happen.  My first baby is a woman. She has been busy working as a part time nanny and helping me around the house and with the younger children when she is home.  She has grown so much this past year.  She came home from Africa last summer changed.  She matured greatly and has really become a wonderful and passionate young woman.  She is serving in the youth group as a leader/student leader.  She has been busy helping me fundraise for my mission trip while trying to fund her own by setting aside part of her paycheck each week and selling her artwork.  She hoped to go to Malawi with me this summer but we both feel like God has other plans for her.  She is now planning to go on a photography type trip with Circle of Hope next January.  She has also decided that she might be ready to work on getting her license this spring or summer.  (Hallelujah!) I think my nerves have recovered from teaching one teenager to drive by now. I should be able to handle helping her learn.   In the mean time she pays me to drive her to and from work.  Chauffeur is not my favorite role but I make it work.   I am not looking forward to that this summer, though.  I won't want to leave kings island or any other field trip just to pick her up from work, but we will cross that bridge when we get to it.  I am so proud of her. She has had to overcome many obstacles including an autism diagnosis, but she is thriving. I look forward to seeing what God has in store for her future.  I am sure she would work as a full or regular missionary in Malawi if given the opportunity.  I am mentally preparing to travel to Africa to visit my baby girl. While she has no prospects in sight, I hope her future husband realizes what a treasure he will be receiving. J. has been busy at work and leading McBible study.  God has new plans for him this spring.  He feels like God has asked him to start a church. We don't know what that looks like or what it means, yet, but I am doing my best to be supportive, even though I have my reservations. Being a pastor's wife is not my idea of fun. We shall see what happens. God has said nothing to me about it specifically so my job is to be a Godly wife and pray for him as he follows God's lead in this adventure.   As for myself, I have been busy trying to fundraise for my mission trip. It has had it's challenges but God has been faithful.  I am trying not to be frightened by the numbers.  I still need more than half of my money.  I really wish I could just find a rich and generous long lost relative who would pay for it so I don't have to be so overwhelmed with money (or lack of it) and deadlines and doubt.  I had my first Africa meeting via Zoom. It was interesting to learn more about the people who I will be traveling with and exciting to learn more about the culture. I still don't know what I will be doing there or when I will be going.  I  got my first set of vaccines, too.  This is really happening!  My hips have been slowly on the mend thanks to physical therapy and cortisone shots.  I am really hoping I don't end up needing surgery. They still hurt especially to drive but not like they used to. And PT has really helped my body be able to move again. It feels good to be stronger.  And just in time to be sleeping on the ground and using squat toilets.   My knees started having issues a few days after my last cortisone shot. I am not sure what is wrong. My doc blew it off as 'maybe arthritis' but I know better. It happened suddenly and severely. So I wait. And take an anti inflammatory. And wait some more.  So far, they are feeling better, other than a slight setback yesterday.  I plan to call the doc next week if they are still hurting. 

In other news, we have been having car issues.  The van may or may not be dead.  It overheated the other day. It has been leaking oil and antifreeze. For now it is parked in the driveway and a new puddle of oil is gathering underneath but it looks like it is coming from the radiator, not the oil pan.  We wait until we have money and someone to look at it for us.  The focus is in need of new bearings and it has a bad oil leak.  The truck needs the exhaust fixed again.  When it rains....  

Problems aside, the Lord has been revealing himself as I have been studying the psalms.  I have never studied Psalms like this before. There is some good stuff in there.  The thing that stood out most to me was how the psalmist was so real with God, crying out to him in anguish and not pretending everything was alright.  Yet in the next breath he praised HIM because the Lord "will" help.  As in, in the future. He praised God for what  He was going to do.  That is faith. Faith amidst problems. Faith in spite of problems. Faith that God will rescue him.  No doubts. No 'what ifs'. No lack of faith. No fear.  What a beautiful example!  How I long for that kind of faith.  You see, I have no doubt that God can.  I just sometimes doubt that He will.  Lord, I believe. Help me with my unbelief.