My Joy

I love my children. They bring me so much joy!

I Hate Exercise!

Ok, that is not totally fair. There are a few things that are quite active that I actually enjoy, such as hiking and swimming and dancing.  I don't call those things exercise, though. They are just fun.  I just don't get to do them very often (like less than once or twice a year) so they technically cannot be considered exercise anyway.  And since I have zero time to myself, no extra money for a gym membership, and I don't have a disco, pool, or hiking trails in my backyard, I just don't get that much exercise.  I can always try the old standby- exercise dvds. But I really hate exercising just for the sake checking exercise off of my mental to-do list. B O R I N G!  Not to mention the fact that I am always so sore afterwards. And I am a huge wimp. I hate pain.  Sore is definitely something I do NOT wish to be.  However, as my scale has started creeping up to a number I never thought it would go, I am forced to re evaluate my stance on exercise.  I am dusting off those old boring dvds. I am jogging in place while watching tv.  I am trying some booty lifting exercises (ok, I only tried it once just this morning and I discovered something... you know those muscles make you leave the ground when you jump? well, mine don't work anymore). And I am fidgeting as much as possible (fidgeting burns calories, you know).  Along with all of this I am considering something new and different type of exercise.  I am thinking about buying a bellydancing workout dvd.

So, let me make a list of pros and cons to try to talk myself into this.

Pro

• it looks fun and different
• it is exercise
• it is something I can do in the privacy of my own home
• it might help me embrace my most embarrassing feature (my flab.. I mean abs)
• it costs less than a gym membership
• I might learn some sexy moves that my hubby will enjoy

Con

• it is exercise
• I have teenagers (who will likely laugh while I am doing this and might even post a video of me attempting to do it on my facebook page)
• it is exercise
• I will be forced to embrace and maybe even reveal my most embarrassing feature
• it is exercise
• I do not want my hubby watching the video. I will never, ever be as sexy as the instructor and I do not want him to have that mental comparison.
• it is exercise

Did I mention that I hate to exercise?  

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Wonderful Christmastime

Merry Christmas.  I have to admit that I wasn't feeling the Christmas spirit earlier this month.  But you just can't help but getting into it when you have a four year old who gets so excited over the littlest things.  He loves this season.  He has been asking to set up the tree since Halloween.  Family traditions says we set it up the day after Thanksgiving.  I was not feeling it this year.  After cooking all day the day before, the last thing I wanted to do was to climb over all of the junk in the storage room to drag out the Christmas decorations.  And set the tree up and put the lights on myself. Everyone is willing to put on their own ornaments but no one ever wants to help with the lights. Of course this meant a trip to walmart to get more lights. It happens every year.  But the look on little man's face when he saw the tree up was priceless.
Carmen did a report for school this year about the history of Christmas and Christmas Symbols.  Let's just say that it did not help at all with getting into the Christmas spirit.  We say that Christ is the reason for the season, but that was definitely not true in the beginning.  And the meaning and history behind some of the Christmas symbols revealed to me that I need to have a "girl" talk with my daughter.  I will never see the Christmas tree or holly the same way again.
Anyway, I decided not to stress with Christmas cards this year. And I did very limited baking (tight budget this year).  A wise decision for a more relaxing season.  Shopping was quick and mostly painless, with the exception of a banking error that led to an overdraft fee or two, but all is good now.  Today is Christmas eve.  The boys will go on their annual Christmas Eve target shooting thing (yep, we must be rednecks) and then we will venture over to grandma's house for the evening. I am really looking forward to giving the kids their gifts tomorrow. We typically only get them one gift each. We started that tradition a few years ago after J lost his job and we didn't have a choice, but we have enjoyed taking the focus off of buying and putting it more on the reason for the season so we never went back to a sack full of gifts like we used to give each of them.  They do give each other something from the heart as well, so they are actually getting more than one thing.  After spending a few days at gift wrap outreach I am amazed at the amount of money people spend on Christmas.  I am not opposed to giving. I just don't think you should have to take out a loan to do it.
Several families close to us are celebrating this year under a cloud of loss.  I have never lost anyone that close to me so I can't imagine how hard it must be to go through the holiday missing your loved one.  I pray for peace and comfort for those families.  Blessings to all of you this Christmas.

I love my kids

They are awesome and fun and creative and generous and caring and talented and helpful and thoughtful and giving and intelligent....

and amazing.

Humble Pie

Sometimes my children teach me the hardest lessons, even when they aren't even trying. Yesterday I took a group of six children to McDonalds to burn off some energy at the playplace. It had been raining all day and my house is just too small for all nine children/teens to be active. So I left baby and teenagers at home and decided to use our halloween coupons for a snack and utilize their indoor playground. We had been there for a while when a grandmother and her two grandsons came in. She and I, along with an older woman who works at McDonalds started talking about rude children and the lack of manners taught in today's society. I had mentions how strict I am and how I expect my children to be polite and respectful. They talked about how children were raised "in their day". I was feeling kind of prideful at this point. Afterall, I was there with six children who were behaving wonderfully. Not to mention the fact that I felt like I gained the respect of these older women for being a "good mother" in a generation where manners are not often taught to children. And that was the exact moment when one of my children kicked me right off of my little pedestal. My 11 year old and his friend were getting a little rambunctious and my 11 year old ended up standing on a table to try to reach the net above him. I yelled at him to get down which he did immediately. While giving myself another pat on the back for my son's quick obedience, I asked him to come to me so I could talk to him. He looked right at me and said...... "NO!" For a brief moment you could have heard a pin drop in that place with the exception of a dad (who had been listening the whole time) as he let out a gasp. So much for my mommy of the year award. I have to mention at this point that I am not usually embarrassed by my children's behavior. I have three children with high functioning autism so I have learned over the years not to let their behavior affect me. But this time I was thoroughly embarrassed. I sent the offender to wait in the van. While I packed up the other children, I was shocked at how embarrassed I was. I even considered making excuses. Afterall, the offender is one of my autism spectrum children. But I know that there was no excuse for my pride. I was wrong to feel so prideful about my mothering abilities. And that was the root of my embarrassment. Pride. After an hour long meltdown at home (a typical autism response) the offender was grounded to his room for the night for being defiant. And I was reminded that my children are imperfect. And so am I.

Submission

The big S word that so many churches avoid and so many women cringe when they hear it. My women's Bible study is doing a study for wives called "Women Making a Difference in Marriage". I have actually done this study before. Twice. So when I decided to lead this group of women on this journey, I thought 'I got this covered'. I figured I had grown so much since the first time I did this book and my marriage has definitely improved that I would be like the Titus 2:4 older woman teaching the younger. I am, after all, quite older than the ladies in the group. However, when I opened my old book and started reading I realized that my answers to the questions are still the same today as they were several years ago. The same phrases in the book that I highlighted still speak loud and clear to me today, painfully. As I starting studying chapter 3 about submission I realized that I still had a wrong impression about what submission is. First of all it is not being a lesser person. And it is something to do grudgingly. It is a willing and freeing act of trusting God and your spouse putting the other person's desires before your own. It does not mean you have no voice. It does not mean you cannot express your opinion. It does not mean you are weak. By submitting to our husbands we also are submitting to God. I love this quote from our book-"When we have an unsubmissive spirit, we must identify the real enemy. It's not our husbands, bosses, or coworkers but Satan himself. His desire is to sow discord in all our relationships." I have noticed that my teenagers have a very unsubmissive spirit right now toward me and my husband. My daughter in particular. She often tells me "I will stop____ if you stop _____. I am wondering if I set the wrong example for her about submitting to authority. My struggle with submission comes from my history. I am the oldest of five children giving me natural leadership qualities. My parents split up when I was young and I watched my strong mother as the head of the household and doing it all. I lost respect for my dad as I witnessed him chased women, even before my parents divorced, even flirting with my friends. When I married I had no positive example of a man leading his household. And I had little trust and respect for men in general. And I was not a Christian going into my marriage. I would never had said the word "obey" in my wedding vows. It took alot of time and much heartache to get to the point of wanting to submit to my husband (and I still struggle with that.) And in the process of not submitting to my husband in our 19 year marriage, I have damaged my husband's sense of self worth, and I have basically taught him that his opinion does not matter. He now lets most decisions rest on my shoulders. This lesson from our Bible study on submission comes in a timely manner. My daughter and I can learn this together. And I can be more understanding in her struggles, since I too, struggle with submission.

You Must Be a Home Educator If....

I saw this on a friends facebook page and couldn't resist posting it here. You Must Be a Home Educator If... You live in a one-house schoolroom. Your walls are covered with maps and timelines instead of decorative framed art. You have mold growing in your fridge…on purpose. Your preschooler can name all the planets, but doesn't know who the Rugrats are. Your house is messy, but your children are happy. All of your wall space is taken up by floor-to-ceiling bookcases and you still have stacks of books that don’t fit on the shelves. You turn a trip to the grocery store into a learning experience. Your kids don’t have to worry that they don’t “fit in.” You are tired of answering the question, “But what about socialization?” You have a standard one-minute speech to give to store clerks, mother-in-laws, and school officials about why you homeschool. For your wedding anniversary, you decide to splurge and get a color laser printer. Talking out loud to yourself is the same as having a parent/teacher conference. You have a 12-year-old, a 6-year-old, and a 2-year old in the same class. You take your family vacation in September, when the beaches and theme parks are empty. You take a suitcase full of books along on your family vacation. Your family vacation becomes an extended field trip. You can never find your kitchen utensils because they're out in the sandbox. Your kitchen doubles as a science lab. You are on a first name basis with your local librarian and bookstore owner. You’re always looking up the answers to questions such as “how does that work” or “why does it do that.” You don't get fired for teaching your students about God. The more your kids learn, the less you seem to know.