Submission

The big S word that so many churches avoid and so many women cringe when they hear it. My women's Bible study is doing a study for wives called "Women Making a Difference in Marriage". I have actually done this study before. Twice. So when I decided to lead this group of women on this journey, I thought 'I got this covered'. I figured I had grown so much since the first time I did this book and my marriage has definitely improved that I would be like the Titus 2:4 older woman teaching the younger. I am, after all, quite older than the ladies in the group. However, when I opened my old book and started reading I realized that my answers to the questions are still the same today as they were several years ago. The same phrases in the book that I highlighted still speak loud and clear to me today, painfully. As I starting studying chapter 3 about submission I realized that I still had a wrong impression about what submission is. First of all it is not being a lesser person. And it is something to do grudgingly. It is a willing and freeing act of trusting God and your spouse putting the other person's desires before your own. It does not mean you have no voice. It does not mean you cannot express your opinion. It does not mean you are weak. By submitting to our husbands we also are submitting to God. I love this quote from our book-"When we have an unsubmissive spirit, we must identify the real enemy. It's not our husbands, bosses, or coworkers but Satan himself. His desire is to sow discord in all our relationships." I have noticed that my teenagers have a very unsubmissive spirit right now toward me and my husband. My daughter in particular. She often tells me "I will stop____ if you stop _____. I am wondering if I set the wrong example for her about submitting to authority. My struggle with submission comes from my history. I am the oldest of five children giving me natural leadership qualities. My parents split up when I was young and I watched my strong mother as the head of the household and doing it all. I lost respect for my dad as I witnessed him chased women, even before my parents divorced, even flirting with my friends. When I married I had no positive example of a man leading his household. And I had little trust and respect for men in general. And I was not a Christian going into my marriage. I would never had said the word "obey" in my wedding vows. It took alot of time and much heartache to get to the point of wanting to submit to my husband (and I still struggle with that.) And in the process of not submitting to my husband in our 19 year marriage, I have damaged my husband's sense of self worth, and I have basically taught him that his opinion does not matter. He now lets most decisions rest on my shoulders. This lesson from our Bible study on submission comes in a timely manner. My daughter and I can learn this together. And I can be more understanding in her struggles, since I too, struggle with submission.