I AM the Biggest Loser

I remember watching The Biggest Loser once and hearing one of the contestants say  that she loves exercise now.  When I heard that I remember thinking 'that is something you will never hear me say'.  While I am still not ready to say that I "love" exercise, I am ready to say that I don't dread it like I used to. I am even ready to say that I really enjoy it. The day after Thanksgiving last year I stepped on the scale and saw that numbers creep up higher than they had ever been and higher than I ever thought possible.  I was just under 200 pounds.  I have always been a skinny girl growing up. Not thin. Skinny. Bean pole thin, ribs showing, stick legs, no boobs or butt kind of skinny.  And I was that way from the time I was a little girl and all through my first pregnancy.  I only gained five pounds that pregnancy and no one could even tell I was pregnant even though I was a lifeguard and wore a swimsuit everyday to work. My whole childhood and young adult life I couldn't gain weight if I tried and I ate constantly.  The first time I gained any weight was with my second pregnancy.  After an uncomfortable 9 months with what I later discovered was undiagnosed gestational diabetes and delivering a nearly ten pound baby three weeks early, I had put on 20 pounds.  This first twenty pounds made me feel so fat.  But I realize now that I finally looked normal. That was a very healthy weight for me.  I could still eat whatever I wanted after that and never gain weight. Another pregnancy four years later, this time with diagnosed gestational diabetes added another 20 pounds.  Again I could eat anything I wanted afterwards without any weight gain.  Our surprise blessing was born six years later again with gestational diabetes and added another 20 pounds.  This time, however, my time of eating whatever I wanted without weightgain was gone.  It crept up slowly to that dreaded day after thanksgiving.  That is when I decided to do something.  I started cutting back on my portion sizes and stopped snacking between meals and cut out most soda and fast food. I lost 10 pounds by January. But then I was stuck.  I decided that I had to start doing something I dread.  Exercise.  Hubby got a free gym membership through his work but I couldn't drive that far just to work out so I got some Leslie Sansone Walk Away the Pounds DVDs and got started.  To motivate both of us, we decided to do a Biggest Loser Challenge.  We took $100 from our income tax return and set it aside as the prize.  We weighed in every sunday morning for 12 weeks.  And we started working out regularly.  At first I couldn't even do 1 mile of these walk at home dvds.  I was so winded and hurt so bad afterwards (thanks to three herniated discs in my lower back).  But as time went on I started to see a pound or two drop. That encouraged me to keep going.  I stayed in the lead all 12 weeks even though hubby had the benefit of a gym and all of its equipment.  I started to notice a difference in my endurance and in my ability to move around.  I know this sounds funny but the first sign to me that I was changing was the day I didn't have to kinda lean back and plop down onto the toilet.  I was able to squat down without dropping.  For normal people this might sound ridiculous, but remember I am really tall. That toilet seat is really far away from my backside. And I lacked the muscles it took to squat all the way down.  I stayed in the lead for every weigh in, but week 11 hubby nearly pulled ahead. I had been stuck at 180 for the past 3 weeks so when we had our final weigh in I was kind of surprised to see that I had won!  However, the journey is not over.  This is a lifestyle change that I am making. I want to be active everyday.   I want to be able to move.  I want to play with my kids, not sit on the sidelines.  I want to be a healthier me. While I cannot yet say that I love exercise, I can say that I love the results of exercise.I love how much better I feel. I love how accomplished I feel after a workout.  I love seeing what I am capable of. I love the fact that I can skip again (see earlier post about not being able to skip). I loved climbing into the gaga pit at PVM camp on Sunday with my kids and playing with them (and doing pretty well). I love seeing my husband getting strong and healthy too (and seeing him win the biggest loser challenge at his workplace). I love feeling younger, stronger, and confident.  I think this exercise thing might just be something I learn to love too.