About Trust and Giving

Over the last few weeks, God has been really showing me where my trust has been. My husband has been unemployed for almost a year but for the most part things have been good. In that time the bills have been paid, we have been tithing, and although we have had to tighten up our budget a little, we were not struggling too bad. This whole time I thought I had been trusting God with our finances and He has been providing. However, when I checked my bank account balance one day and realized that our balance was nearing zero and J. still hadn’t started receiving any unemployment benefits, I panicked. I was consumed with fear. I tried to pray but fear always overtook my prayers. All I could think about was our lack of money and no where to get any. Worse yet, I didn’t have an income, either, for a week, because the child that I babysit was on vacation. When our church had started the 10 for 10 challenge earlier in the year, I had felt called to give an additional $10 each week, which we continued to do even though we had no actual income that week. It was a very small tithe check. Still, I continued to struggle with overwhelming fear.

One night a prophetic word was spoken over our situation. I started crying and couldn’t stop. I cried my heart out to God that night and He showed me that my trust had been in many things but not in HIM. I had been trusting my bank account, my income tax return, and my husband’s future but non existant unemployment check. While I had continued to tithe, even giving above and beyond, I had truly not been trusting God. In the back of my mind, I had always had a back up plan. When the back up plan was gone and I turned our finances back over to God and put my trust in Him once again, he has shown me that He will provide. While my husband is still unemployed, I know that God is a God whom I can trust to provide for my needs and he is a God of grace who forgives me when I fail.